Normative models and trends in the development of intra-family relations in modern conditions

Introduction

The family brings everyday culture into everyday life, because, being within a certain national tradition and assuming a set of customs and functions due to it, it is realized in everyday life not only by them, but also by numerous, sometimes unpredictable facets of human relationships. Each culture forms its own «normative» model of the family, characterized by its defining parameters. These parameters reflect different indicators – descriptors – as attributes that determine the corresponding value and behavior in society, for example:
 

• by degree of dominance: matriarchal; patriarchal; detocentric;
• levels of responsibility (high, medium, low, irresponsible) that characterize it as typical (standard), abnormal (pathological, with impaired development and adaptation) and egalitarian (in which responsibility is distributed among family members, however, this distribution often appears cause for conflict);
• according to who is responsible for the family: normal (in which the husband (father) is responsible for the well-being of the family; abnormal (in which the husband (father) is not responsible for the family); pseudo-family (in which no one bears any responsibility);
• by structure (composition): complete - incomplete; childless, one-child, middle-child, many children; one-generation (consisting of spouses without children), two-generation (consisting of parents and their children), multi-generation (consisting of three or more generations of relatives);
• by social status, which depends on a particular epoch, social development (for example, for society in the 2nd half of the XIX century it is noble; commoner; petty official; philistine; peasant families), for the soviet period – families of workers, peasants and intelligentsia);
• by standard of living: prosperous; rich; middle-class; poor; beggar;
• by the nature of communication: love, position in society, benefit, economic relations; spiritual intimacy, responsibility, etc.;
• by intra-family relationships: harmonious (the basis of which is love, trust, mutual understanding, affection, respect) or disharmonious (not fulfilling family functions, not providing sufficient satisfaction of the needs of all family members, their personal development due to violation of family roles, communication processes, lack of emotional attachment).

As for the descriptor of intra-family relationships, it is closely related to the descriptor of the manifestation of responsibility of each family member for the performance of a certain family role.

Humanitarian science distinguishes such types of family relationships as:

1. dictatorship (characterized by a lack of respect, suppression by some family members (mainly parents) of the dignity and interests of its other members);
2. excessive guardianship (determined by the satisfaction of all the needs of the child, protecting him from all worries, problems and difficulties, as a result of which passivity, infantility is formed instead of activity, personality development is inhibited);
3. the position of non-interference (generating alienation, distance in the relationship of children and parents, recognizing the possible and even appropriate independent existence of children from adults and adults from children);
4. positive cooperation (involving joint solution of family problems, common goals and objectives, introducing children to family values and traditions, which contributes to family cohesion, overcoming children's selfishness) (Druzhinin, 2007).

individual are distinguished: general – these are existing norms, social attitudes, customs, traditions, stereotypes; individual – their embodiment in the consciousness and behavior of family members, in family priorities.  In the context of the general, the family is a sphere of socialization and adaptation open to the transformational processes taking place in society, and in the context of the individual, the family functions as a relatively closed group with its own values and priorities. In this regard, the relationship between the family and society can be partner; paternalistic on the part of society, when the government or society dictates certain behaviors; neutral; hostile. As the family way of life is great importance for the development of the whole human society, it is necessary to deeply study the main features of the family in modern realities.

Theoretical framework

On the basis of a retrospective analysis of the dynamics of family values, culturologist T.V. Glazkova defines such types of families as: successive, transformative, destructive, nihilistic and heuristic, noting that changes have occurred not only in the structure of the family, its quantitative and qualitative composition, but also in its internal relationships, as well as in relations with society and the state (Glazkova, 2014, p. 55).

Studies of the modern family prove that most of the changes that occur in it, first of all, relate to the relationship of marriage, parenthood and kinship. These are the components that are closely related and create a family, causing its unity and integrity. The contradictory processes taking place in the modern family force scientists to state the fact that the institution of the family is in a crisis state. Today in the development of the family there are other trends that have severe social consequences, both for the family and for society (Salikhova & Donina, 2019a).

The family foundation is marriage, which determines the content of marital relations. Unfortunately, at the present time the marriage is undergoing negative trends. Since the middle of the last century, in developed countries there has been a decrease in the number of official marriages and an increase in the number of family unions in the form of cohabitation (Donina & Salikhova, 2019). Russian experts in the field of family and marriage research drew attention to this process in the eighties of the twentieth century, emphasizing that it continues at the present time.

Today, it has become Russian reality to accept actual marriage as a social norm that establishes other patterns of human behavior, the limits of what is permissible and forbidden in marriage. The goal of any social norm is to ensure the viability of a social institution. The social norm «civil / actual marriage» exists in our society, and this is confirmed by the fact that couples living in a civil / actual marriage are not prohibited by relatives, are not condemned by friends and colleagues.

We agree with T.V. Krasnova that instead of the terms actual or civil marriage it is more correct to use the terms «extramarital cohabitation» or «illegitimate family», since etymologically the word «cohabitation» does not carry a negative meaning, but means «live with someone» (Krasnova, 2008, p. 53). Indeed, the actual marriage in everyday life is called «civil», despite the fact that a civil marriage is a marriage registered in the registry office.

The rapid pace of distribution and the special popularity of civil, actual marriage among young people pose a problem for scientists to identify its positive and negative aspects.Рositive: a feeling of freedom, because there is no stamp in the passport; the availability of time in order to better know the partner, a greater likelihood of getting used to each other; there are no claims for inheritance, fewer mutual claims and, as a result, fewer quarrels, etc.; it should be noted that in some cases, a common-law marriage really acts as a trial and leads to the conclusion of an official marriage, especially after the birth of a child. Negative: when problems and difficulties arise, the quickest and easiest decision is made – to disperse; a woman, in order to keep a man, often abandons motherhood if the roommate does not agree to have children, or gives birth to only one child; low level of responsibility, evasion of family responsibilities, and sometimes – from a family lifestyle for the sake of their interests and hobbies, as a result of which unions based on cohabitation are destroyed, as they tend to hold on to passion, which can soon fade away.

T.V. Krasnova also notes that «one of the reasons for the wide distribution of relations of actual marriage is the growing influence of religion on modern society. Guided by religious consciousness, some couples sanctify marriage in the church or enter into other religious rites without resorting to state registration» (Krasnova, 2008).

It is important to note that actual marriages based on cohabitation are not included in the legal field of our state, since property rights and obligations are not ensured: the property of common-law spouses is shared, not joint property, as in a legal marriage (Krasnova, 2008). Sometimes, after the termination of the actual marriage relationship, a woman is left without housing, deprived of means of livelihood. Problems exist in hereditary legal relations: if the cohabitant did not leave a will, then his property will not be inherited by the partner and children (Mitryasova, 2018).

Along with the form of actual marriage at the present stage of development of society, there is a tendency for a large number of other forms of marriage unions: guest (assuming regular marital relations between non-living partners), concubinate (cohabitation, imposing certain rights and obligations regarding children), open marriage (allowing sexual relations with other partners), business marriage («business», «commercial» marriage), fictitious marriage (with legal registration of marriage without the intention to create a family, but for other purposes, for example, obtaining citizenship, benefits from state or municipal services), a creative union (an intimate union between a man and a woman, united by a common creative work), polygyny (a form of polygamous marriage in which a man is in a marriage together with several wives), group marriage (which includes several men and women), same-sex cohabitation (by the way, legalized by the Court of the European Union), virtual marriage – web-marriage (a form of permanent relationship through an international computer network Internet between users with their registration on specialized sites), and others.

This trend leads to a change in the content of the phenomenon of marriage. Scientists are trying to study various aspects of such marriages, however, long-term serious research in this direction has not been conducted yet.

In the article by L. A. Khachatryan (Khachatryan, 2014) it is noted that in Russia, of all the listed forms of civil / actual marriage, guest marriage will be a priority. And there are many reasons for this: roommates do not want to share their own housing; «visit» when it is convenient for them; they do not bother each other; remain «free» from obligations; may stop meeting at any time, etc. However, in such a family there are often no children, and if a child appears, then problems and obligations will appear.

Another trend of family relations in the XXI century is the trend of «aging» of newlyweds, that is, increasing the age at the first marriage. Indeed, the desired age for creating a family among modern youth is 28 years and older (by the way, it is higher for men than for women). There are both pros and cons: pros – the newlyweds already have a profession, are financially secure and can plan and support their family; cons – а mother and а child have health problems, difficult childbirth, as it is well known that healthier children are born to women aged 20 to 24 years (in modern maternity hospitals, a pregnant woman at 25 years is considered to be «old-born», more tolerant terminology – «aged first-born»), it is important to note that most women who have one child after 30 years do not give birth to the second child. 

A relatively stable trend in the development of the modern family is the tendency to increase the age difference of those who enter into marriage, that is, unequal age marriages. In the sixth part of the concluded marriages, the brides are younger than the grooms by five or more years. However, the number of marriages in which this difference is more significant (15 or more years) is increasing. Unfortunately, most of these brides puts not love, not the desire to be with a loved one «…and in sorrow, and in joy...» in the first place, but an easy life, material well-being, satisfaction of their needs, marrying a rich man who has already reached a high position in society. However, this trend has its downside: the number of marriages in which, on the contrary, the wife is older than her husband by 7 or more years increases.

In connection with the industrialization and democratization of society, the active inclusion of women in industrial, social and political activities, have changed, and, moreover, significantly, marital roles in the family associated with the distribution of household responsibilities. More and more often in the Russian family, a woman is the head of the family: she has a higher education, a prestigious job, high earnings (often even higher than her husband), has authority, which helps to increase her role in solving family problems. However, modern women who perform traditional male roles simultaneously have to perform traditional female roles, which leads to intra-family problems, increasing the likelihood of divorce proceedings (Salikhova & Donina, 2019b).

The trend of increasing the number of divorces appeared in the second half of the ХХ century (Donina, Kirillova, Kuznetsov, 2005). Scientists have identified common factors for many countries that affect the occurrence of divorce situations: the probability of divorce is higher in the so-called «divorce peaks» (1, 7, 17, 27 years of marriage), in marriages concluded before adulthood; marriages motivated by the wife's pregnancy; in childless marriages; in families where there was no focus on lifelong marriage, where the parents of the spouses had a divorce, etc. (Khachatryan, 2014). The trend of increasing divorces has given rise to a trend of increasing remarriages. However, it should be noted that the possibility of remarriage is low for women over 40 years old and women with children.

The trend of remarriage as a result of the increasing number of divorces has led to a more complex family structure. There are new forms of family: family-cohabitation, alternative family, same-sex family, etc. In world practice, any deviation from the classical family is recognized as a new form of family life (there are more than fifty such forms). For example, a family can be made up of friends who rent an apartment together; spouses who live in opposite parts of the world; a father with a child who was born to him by a surrogate mother, and so on.

Another trend is the trend of celibacy, an increase in the number of people (both men and women) who do not want to burden their lives with family problems (male and female bachelorhood). Even 40-50 years ago, European sociologists noted that up to 40% of Europeans do not want to marry. In our country, about 30% of men and women of marriageable age avoid marriage (Khachatryan, 2014). Today, both women and men earn well, are passionate about their work, are engaged in career growth and can independently provide for themselves, preferring loneliness, especially since society has ceased to condemn it.

L. V. Kartseva in her monograph «Family in Russia at the turn of two centuries» notes that only a strong personality with courage, strong will, determination and freedom can withstand competition in the labor market. Turning to the liberal market economy, Russia automatically programmed the emergence of a new type of personality, which also determines the modernization of the existing family typology. There is a noticeable turn of mass consciousness from the collectivist values of the family to the individual values of the person, which to a certain extent disorganizes family life (Kartseva, 2001). We agree with the author that this is typical for Russian reality of the first two decades of the XXI century.

The priority of individual values in family life is also noted by L. V. Baeva: «... the triad of responsibility «society – family – individual» has turned today into the construction «individual – family – society», and in this phenomenon, in her opinion, lies the essence of the transformation of the value of the family in modern Russia (Baeva, 2004).

We agree that the tendencies indicated by the authors of the predominance of individual values over social values in the hierarchy of family values is a certain danger for society in the context of increasing its conflict, exacerbation of contradictions between society and the individual.

Methodology

The methodological basis of the research is: philosophical propositions about the universal connection and interdependence of phenomena, about the unity of the general, special, individual, objective and subjective, logical and sensory; the concept of continuing education; the didactic concept of adult education, as well as methodological approaches to the formation of the value foundations of family life among students: general scientific (historical-sociological, cultural-philosophical, psychological, familistic, inter-terrorist, paternalistic, pronatalist, stratification) and general pedagogical (humanistic, axiological, andragogical, structural-functional, situational, gender, personal-activity, competence.

The study used a set of methods that complement each other: theoretical (analysis of the basic concepts of the study, comparative historical analysis, study and analysis of philosophical, sociological, psychological and scientific-methodological pedagogical literature on the topic of the study, content analysis of state policy documents regarding the young family, concretization, modeling, forecasting, etc.); empirical (collection and accumulation of data (observation, conversation, questionnaires, testing, interviewing, analysis of documents and products of activity, existing experience in the formation of family values of young people, etc., pedagogical experiment, evaluation methods (rating, self-assessment), experimental verification of conclusions; methods of diagnostics and statistical data processing, cluster analysis).

Results and discussion

Conclusion

The data obtained during the experiment allowed us to develop an educational module "Modern Family" for students studying at universities of a different professional fields. This module is based on a set of pedagogical conditions necessary for the successful implementation of this module, aimed at forming the value foundations of family life among students.

These conditions include:

• implementation of the personal-activity approach;
• taking into account the peculiarities of the adult contingent of students; personal orientation; the pragmatic nature of educational motivation, through which an adult student seeks to solve their professional and life problems; the desire for the consistent application of new knowledge; the emotional nature of the assessment of new educational information; awareness of self-sufficiency, which leads to a critical attitude to attempts to guide them;
• development of students ' personal interest in the problem of forming family values of young people in the context of the transformation of modern society, understanding their own role and significance in solving this problem in the process of additional education; awareness of their own responsibility for the result, as well as understanding the application of the result in practice;
• on the basis of partnership and respectful relations, creating a comfortable educational environment for each student, where training takes place in an organizational and activity mode with the inclusion of emotions, will, and intelligence;
• self-realization (self-actualization) of students in the educational process, which implies their desire to identify potential opportunities, as well as the ability to achieve goals;
• the positive attitude of students to the activity, the reality of expectations from participation in the educational process, their correction and self-determination, etc.